Minor Malorum Duorum

"At least 25% of the world's mammal species are at risk of extinction."

I was totally unsure which category to give this, but you can plainly see, it's wrong: A man in Wisconsin used a Sawzall to turn a pumpkin into a kayak, which he then christened by breaking another pumpkin on it before setting out to sea.

That's a VIDEO link, and the BBC plays them on auto. It is uncommented, however, so you don't miss anything by killing the sound.

"This morning, PETA dispatched a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of ice cream icon Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace the cow's milk in their products with human breast milk."

I'm looking at you SoundAndFury!

"If it seems like disasters are getting more common, it's because they are. But some disasters do seem to be affecting us worse — and not for the reasons you may think."

*techno music*
Don "In a World" LaFontaine is dead.
*techno music*

A study of Google Earth satellite images has revealed that herds of cattle tend to face in the north-south direction of Earth's magnetic lines.

I just thought this was kind of... fuck I don't know. Read it asshole.

"A two-acre patch of land north of Fillmore heated up to 800 degrees Friday, and firefighters and geologists are unsure why."

Some of you may not want to see this. It's not as bad as the eye implant things that were mentioned a while back, but it's still creepy.

A waitress in Ontario who shaved her head as part of a cancer charity drive was suspended from her job until her hair grows back (or she wears a wig).

"D.C. police will seal off entire neighborhoods, set up checkpoints and kick out strangers under a new program that D.C. officials hope will help them rescue the city from its out-of-control violence.

Under an executive order expected to be announced today, police Chief Cathy L. Lanier will have the authority to designate “Neighborhood Safety Zones.” At least six officers will man cordons around those zones and demand identification from people coming in and out of them. Anyone who doesn’t live there, work there or have “legitimate reason” to be there will be sent away or face arrest, documents obtained by The Examiner show. "

Two men are pursuing a lawsuit in federal court because they think a giant particle accelerator that will begin smashing protons together outside Geneva this summer might produce a black hole or something else that will spell the end of the Earth — and maybe the universe. Scientists say that is very unlikely — though they have done some checking just to make sure.

Sometimes when you crack open an egg, you discover there is an egg inside it. And, not in the philosophical sense of how you break the "egg," and what spills into the bowl is *also* an "egg." In this case, it's actually an entire additional egg, with intact shell and all. This adds a whole new confusing layer to that chicken/egg conundrum.

"More than 1 billion gallons of contaminated water -- enough to fill 1,500 Olympic-sized swimming pools -- is trapped in a tunnel in the mountains above the historic town of Leadville and threatening to blow."

Lake Mead has a 50% chance of going dry by 2021. And a 50% chance of going low enough by 2017 that the Hoover Dam stops providing power. Los Angeleans will be very, very thirsty.