Minor Malorum Duorum

Meat eating slugs. Carnivorous slugs in Wales. Because what Wales needed was something more unpleasant than a language that thinks r and w are vowels.

Referees try to be fair, but on occasion even the best make bad calls. Now it would seem that sometimes they cannot help it. Researchers reveal that colours worn by competitors can shape referee decisions.

"The dramatic proliferation of jellyfish in oceans around the world, driven by overfishing and climate change, is a sure sign of ecosystems out of kilter."

Nigerian Tribune claims some crazy shit. The moral of the story is: Do not be a cat-woman in Nigeria. Or a cat. Or, actually, a woman. Now that I think of it, let's just say, Don't go to Nigeria.

"That's an astonishing number. Imagine if one out of every three cows, or one out of every three chickens, were dying. That would raise a lot of alarm."

Scientists continue to avoid working on serious problems like cancer and global warming, and instead focus on using mind control on girl flies to make them act like boy flies.

Russia has begun testing monkeys for a trip to Mars.

Scientists are working feverishly to create tobacco that doesn't turn carcinogenic when it's cured. Well, not SO carcinogenic, anyway. This way, those folks who were thinking about quitting, because there's no low-cancer ciggies out there, won't have to! Guess who pays for the research? Always looking for that guilt-ridden buck...

An astrophysicist had enough time loitering around jetways to wonder what, exactly the problem was. Apparently he worked out a boarding scheme that should be 2 - 8 times faster than whatever airlines are using now, depending on how they implement it.

I hope he gets the food sorted out next.

I can't say it any better than the direct quote, so here ya go:

He called on lawmakers to stop "passing legislation on how to encourage homosexual activity in the state of Israel, which anyway brings about earthquakes".

Apparently that tectonic plates bullshit was just a red herring.

Japanese scientists have been working diligently to perfect a paper glider plane that can withstand re-entry from space and get back to earth, when thrown from an orbiting space station.

Shit you not.

Researchers conducting an evolutionary experiment with robots found that at the 50th generation, some of the robots began lying to trick other robots to their doom.

They (you know, Them) have apparently invented the ultimate light-absorbtive substance, by lining up all the carbon nanotubes just so. Light can't get away. Y'all can thank me now for posting this, instead of the story about the guy who went into the hospital for stitches on his forehead, and also (after the stitches) got anally probed, sedated, handcuffed to a bed, and arrested. (They were checking for spinal injury, he just didn't want to know...)