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DeathRelated to the release of the mortal coil. Discorporation. Demise. Croakin. Crap reporting pins slayings on D&D playerSeems like all the entertaining news is in badly written newspapers this week. Here's a better overview of this Amy Bishop lady, the professor who went postal on Friday at the University of Alabama. But more sinister, Dr. Bishop reportedly played Dungeons & Dragons and was a bit of an oddball. Cryogenic Facilty ScandalThe technician, no .406 hitter like the baseball legend, missed the can with several swings of the wrench and smacked Williams' head directly, spraying "tiny pieces of frozen head" around the room. (Yay, NY Daily News, for providing your own link when people cut/paste from your article!! Kick-ass.) If one of you buys this book, read it before I get there so I can buy it off you and have it. where to startGermany uses posters of history's despots having sex to fight AIDS. I think. How interested are you in news of celebrity deaths?* Wet Fart out of 10 Girl aged 17 knifes 30 men to deathAlso of note and pretty funny, the article wanders aimlessly into another story entirely near the end.
Diary of a KillerYesterday a man walked into a Pittsburgh fitness center and started shooting. Here's a Google cache of his diary / website (interesting read). Thought ya might wanna see it! UPDATE: Google has flaccidly purged the Internets of the aforementioned cache. WEAK! [Ed. note -- Still works for me, but it's replicated here on Scylla now, too.]
Why Sharks Eat PeopleFlorida, you continue to be on my shitlist. ps, the shark died, but someone put it back in the ocean anyway. (in case you were worried)
Rats of usual sizeThis one's pretty awful. In Louisiana, a three-month-old baby was killed after bleeding to death from hundreds of rat bites.
Man Dies of Head Wound In Chocolate VatWonder if they'll serve hot chocolate after the funeral? Guessing this beats drowning in chocolate. It's always the mom's boyfriendA two-year-old was strangled by her mom's boyfriend's albino python. You know, once it starts biting your kid on the head, maybe it's time to trade the python for a kitten?
Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'A great story for when you really want to feel bummed out. Lesbian Kept From Dying Partner’s BedsideWhen a loved one is in the hospital, you naturally want to be at the bedside. But what if the staff won’t allow it? That’s what Janice Langbehn, a social worker in Lacey, Wash., says she experienced when her partner of 18 years, Lisa Pond, collapsed with an aneurysm during a Florida vacation and was taken to a Miami trauma center. She died there, at age 39, as Ms. Langbehn tried in vain to persuade hospital officials to let her visit, along with the couple’s adopted children. Scary new flu strainA new flu strain which is transferable from person-to-person in Mexico, Texas, and Southern California is freaking people out. Closer analysis showed it is a never-before-seen mixture of swine, human and avian viruses, according to the CDC.
Passive Aggressive Note WinPersonal Accountability Fail Driver runs over, kills pedestrian, leaves semi-contrite note with body. Dying Woman Opts for Selfish Bitch ExitSeems kind of pointless and much like a waste of money other people could use. I suppose I must admit being all terminal maybe fucks with your judgment though. Fine. Pffffffffft. ;)
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